i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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