took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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