Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
