Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
