Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
