Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
