You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize