I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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