Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just high enough for therapy.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
