hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
