my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
try to milk me bitch
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
