North Korea, Best Korea!
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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