she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
