when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
