Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
