fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
