How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
