dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
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