Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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