i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
