Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
