If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
