It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Drake has all the answers
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
