OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
