in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize