I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
