just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
