11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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