Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
