Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
