you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
