Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize
