$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
