She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
