I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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