i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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