theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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