so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize