I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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