That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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