How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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