If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I love having hate sex.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just pee around me
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
