ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She bit a glass in half.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize
