This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Someone signed my nipple.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
