When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize