I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
