I have demons in me.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
