Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
