i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
