Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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