Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
