i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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