so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize