Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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