I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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