You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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