dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i think i have two assholes
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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