Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize