Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize