you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
