billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
