matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I don't think brook has ever known best
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
