I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
