come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize