Sry I called you an 8
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
