After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
