Buhtt sex?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The struggles of a small town man whore
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
