i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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