are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
