What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
