I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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