Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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