batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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