YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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