For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
