I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
