I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize