Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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