sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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