Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
